Seven Minutes in Heaven
by jayreii
Summary: Creek, Bunny, Kyman(?) & Style One shot. / What happens when everyone stays over at Cartmans for a night / It's just a bunch of gay. The Bunny part gets a bit for mature audiences but not too bad, hence the M. They're all 16 in this story.


Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Tweek and Craig were all at Cartmans house having a sleep over as Erics mom was away for the weekend.

It was about 9pm, they were all sat in a circle and it was time for another game, "Okay! Haha! Let's play seven minutes in heaven!" Cartman happily announced.

"Wh-what's seven minutes in heaven?" Butters coyly asked.  
"Honestly Butters, you are so stupid. It's when you and someone else goes into a closet for seven minutes and then fool around." Eric answered.

"Oh. Stans been in the closet for 16 years."  
"Shut the fuck up Kenny." The rest laughed.  
"Seriously though man, the rest of us are out. Your turn." Kenny kindly reminded.

However Butters still looked puzzled at the term 'fooling around'.

"You make out with them. It's pretty sexual." Craig broadly said.  
"Yeah, it's hot as fuck." Kenny joined.  
"Oh." replied Butters.

"So... who decides who goes in with who?" Kyle asked.  
"Well... since its my house and I decided to pick the game, I will decide." Eric proudly stated as sighs came from the rest, "Shut up guys! I'm seriously! Okay... so, first up, Craig."

"Yeah?" He shrugged, not caring about this at all. "And..." Eric continued with a smirk, "Tweek."

"GAHHHH! WHAT? NO THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" The coffee filled blond screeched while Craig had a wide eyed, 'nope' expression.

"Oh my god, chill Tweek. It's just a game. Go on. We all know you two are hella gay for each other." Stated the host.  
"Are you seriously still using the word hella, fatass?"  
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID JEW! Hella is back now honestly... anyway! Tweek and Craig get in the god damn closet."

"Fine..." the two responded.

Once the pair were in the closet that was a 5 second walk from where the circle was, silence occured.  
"So... we're supposed to make out."  
"Yeah... haha." The blond shyly replied.  
"So...?" Craig walked towards the shortest of the two and gently pushed him, towering over him, against the wall, "hi." The taller one smiled.

"Gah! Hi." Tweek squeaked.  
"I gotta feeling here that you don't wanna kiss me?"  
"No... its just, aaah!"  
"So... you do wanna kiss me?" Craig smirked.  
"Oh, geeze. I just didn't want our first kiss to be like this... Gah! I mean, my. My first kiss!"  
"Tweek you don't have to lie, I know you like me."  
Tweeks face lit up as he said, "really? Oh, do- do you like me too?"  
"Of course I do." The taller boy said as his lips went down to meet the messy haired boys.  
And they just kinda... stayed there for a while. Until, BEEP BEEP BEEP. "Okay fags! Seven minutes is up!"

"What?!" Craig fumed as he opened the closet door, "no way was that seven minutes!"

"Well, I'm sorry you gaylords were talking for most of it. Anyway, next up! Kyle..." Cartman announced with a smirk while Kyle looked suspicious, "what...? Who am I going to go in there with? It's fucking you isn't it," the fat boy nodded with a smile, "God fucking damn it, I hate you so much Cartman. You're literally so fucking gay."  
"Yes. Yes I am Kyle. And so are you. So come on now, I'm sure you'll love it."

"Good luck man." Stan called out.  
"Yeah, dude, you'll need it." Kenny yelled while Craig just laughed, Tweek still in shocked by his previous experience in the closet and Butters just completely dumbfound.  
"Kenny time us!" Eric asked loudly.

The two frienimes were now both in the closet.  
"I bet this is your first kiss, I bet this was the only reason you wanted to play this. Just to piss me off. I seriously hate you so much fatass."  
"For fuck sake Kyle shut up and let me kiss you."  
"Fine.. but I'm gonna hate it." The Jew sighed.  
"You'll like it I promise."  
And you can probably guess what happened here... Cartman kissed Kyle and they made out for the reminding seven minutes until the alarm went off, in which case the daywalker immediately relased from the brunette.

"Haha... wasn't bad was it?"  
"It was... okay. It didn't make me want to throw up that much." Kyle replied.  
"Well you were perfect." Kyle blushed as the fatter of the two opened the closet door.

"So, Kyle... how was it?" Kenny laughed.  
"I-i don't wanna talk about it."

"So... Kenny!"  
"Yo, Cartman?" Kenny sneakily winked.  
"Butters!" Cartman looked over at the smallest and densest of the group to get his attention.  
"Yeah, yeah Eric? Are me and Kenny gonna go in there now?" Cartman nodded, "Oh boy. Okay then."  
"Okay, Butters good. Go on then." Eric kindly said to the blond.

Kenny had previously asked Cartman in private to do this, as he has something a little bit more than a major crush on the precious boy. So at the moment Kenny was overjoyed.

The two blondes were now in the closet together, "so, haha. Are we gonna kiss now?" The shorter boy asked.  
"Yeah, that's what were gonna do now. Is that okay?"  
"Yeah. Of course, Kenny."

Kenny leaned in to kiss the small boy, which is what he has been waiting for at least 5 years to do. The dirty blond put his arms around the light blond and rested both hands on his butt. Butters, by surprise actually knew what he was doing as he melted into the kiss, making it more passionate and heart felt. When...  
Butters broke the kiss, "Kenny? What's that?"

Butters felt something brush up against his crotch.

"Oh, yeah. Hah. That's my dick."  
"Oh... why can I feel it?"  
"Because I don't know, you set it off."  
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to."  
"It's not your fault that you're like really fucking attractive to me."  
"Oh, no one has ever said that to me before."  
"Yeah, dude it's like really fucking weird. But I can't help it that I'm fucking in love with you."

Suddenly there was space between the two made by the recently shocked and silent, shorter of the two.

"Fuck. Oh fuck, fuck!" Kenny ran out leaving Butters in there to be completely numb.

"Dude, what the fuck happened? Your seven minutes aren't up yet!" Stan called to his friend.

Tweek looked into the closet to see Butters completely still and silent, "Uhh... is Butters okay?" The coffee-mad boy asked.

"Uh... yeah he'll be fine." Kenny reassured.

"What the fuck is this? Guys you're ruining my game!" Cartman got up and walked till he was right in front of Butters. He clapped and clicked his fingers for a minute but nothing. "BUTTERS!" he finally screamed. "PAY ATTENTION YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT. I'M SERIOUSLY." That did it. "AAA!" Butters screamed, "God, Eric you scared me."  
"Shut up you little pussy get out the fucking closet. You'll be fine."

The two joined the rest of them in the circle.  
"What the actual fuck happened in there?" Craig asked.  
"NOTHING HAPPENED FOR FUCK SAKE."  
"Jesus fucking Christ Kenny, calm down." Kyle calmed.

"Yeah... I think that's the end of seven minutes in heaven." Cartman stated.

"What? No! I never had a turn!" Stan announced.

"I thought you were straight?" Craig smirked.

"I am straight. It's just not fair, that's all."

"Sure, sure." Kenny joined in on the smirking.

"And even if you did have a go. Who would you do it with? Everyone else has already had there turn?" Cartman fairly stated.

Stan looked over at Kyle and did a small smile. Kyle blushed back. The two always had a little crush on each other which was little to nothing but were too shy and scared to do anything about it. This was their chance.

"Oh my fucking God! I knew it! Stan has a boner for Kyle!" Eric laughed.

"I'M NOT GAY GOD DAMMIT!"

"For fuck sake. Go on then, Kyle, Stan. Get in the closet and bum each other." Cartman said what he thought the two wanted.

The two super best friends were now in the closet doing basically nothing but talking quietly.

"I mean, I'd kiss you, but I'm not gay." Stan stated.  
"Dude, seriously. You can't lie to me. I know when you're lying. It doesn't even matter if you're gay, literally everyone else here is gay. Apart from Kenny. He'll fuck anyone."  
"Well, that is true." Stan chuckled.  
"And also, I like like you and if you're not gay I'm pretty fucked." That made Stan smile really wide and slightly blush. That statement also made Stan realise a very important thing for him.  
He opened the closet door for a minute and called out, "Hey guys! I'm gay!"

Cheering was heard from the other boys (aside from Cartman) as Kenny called "Aye! Stan finally came out of the closet."  
"But he wasn't even in there for 5 minutes." Butters densely said.  
"Anyway, Stan, you go back in there and kiss yo man!" Kenny called.  
Cartman looked angry as Stan went back into the closet with Kyle to finish off the seven minutes with some very over due intamacy.

Not long after, everyone was ready to sleep, but Kenny had something unresolved, "so Butters. That reaction was quite miss leading. Do you want to be my boyfriend or what, literally everyone else here apart from fatass are in a relationship now?"  
"Oh my, well. Sure Kenny. I actually like you very much."  
"Nice."

"I fucking hate you all, you're all fags I should've never done this, get the fuck out of my house."  
"Shut the fuck up Cartman and go to sleep."  
"God damn hippie."

And there lied the game of seven minutes in heaven. In which a lot of gay relationships were formed and a very jealous and mad Cartman was left.


End file.
